thebassplayer wrote:Q: How many trombone players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll spend half an hour trying to figure out what position he needs to be in.
That should be bass bone, given the endless combinations of valves and slide postions, you know.
Moving on now...
What's the definition of Perfect Pitch?
An electric bass into a dumpster from 30 yards!
I left my bass in my truck, unlocked, one day. I realized an hour later that the truck was unlocked and came running back, but it was too late... there were three more basses in the truck.
Whats the difference between the first and last chairs of a bass section??
A semitone and/or half a measure!
Why did the bassist leave her bow on the dash board of her car?
So she could park in the handicapped zone.
Whats the difference between a Pizza and a Jazz bassist?
A Pizza can feed a family of 4.
Q: What's the difference between a bass and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump up and down on a trampoline.
Three guys are drinking in a bar. The first guy says, "It's been a good year. I'm an accountant and I cleared 86,000 this year." The second says, "I'm a doctor and I cleared 150,000 this year." The third guy looks dejected and says, "I only made 14,000 this year." The doctor says, "No kidding? ... What kind of strings do you use?"
A somber faced musician walks into the union office and asks the clerk for a ten dollar donation to help bury a local bass player. The union boss overhears this, emerges from his office and says:
"Here's $50. Bury five of 'em!"
Insert creative phrase here.