"And now for something completely different"

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"And now for something completely different"

Postby haggis » Thu Sep 25, 2003 9:02 am

Arrgh, we are still in the slow, semi-doldrums of September (now THAT’S proper alliteration!) Big’s “This is the thread” and Donna’s Pah-lezzzzz! Are getting too unwieldy for coherent mischief making.

So, at the risk of looking stupid (Ed. Just “LOOKING” stupid? This from a guy who thought the "London Underground" was a subversive movement? Pretty bold talk for an idiot in search of a nice village ) I’m going to see if I can get some creative juices flowing here.

I expect everyone to contribute and spelling and creativity WILL count looks sharply at OT with arched eyebrows…”I wonder where OT got arched eyebrows???”

I will start with a premise and the next clever-ish person has to expand on it and so forth. looks at Selma with arched eyebrows….”Damn both Selma AND OT have arched eyebrows….there’s a pattern emerging here!!” there is no right way to answer, just use your imagination.

Premise
I’ve pondered this question long and hard over the years. I’ve used physics, meta-math and worn out at least two ouija boards working on the problem and I’ve come to an inescapable conclusion; The Earth is not round and the Earth is not flat. The truth is much more complex, the Earth is actually……………
Haggis

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Thu Sep 25, 2003 9:20 am

the Earth is actually not earth at all, but a figment of the bold and wonderfully creative imagination of the master. I'm of course talking about.....
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby jmfryar » Thu Sep 25, 2003 9:34 am

...Izzy the stoner on the corner, who is, in fact, not the wasteoid he seems to be, but is actually...
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Selma in Sandy Eggo » Thu Sep 25, 2003 9:49 am

...psychokinetically knitting a nice afghan to fit the irregular toroid that is the Earth. Meanwhile, in low Jupiter orbit, the spaceship...
>^..^<
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Bones » Thu Sep 25, 2003 9:57 am

was loaded with a perishable cargo of Haggis and gelato...
"I try to think, but nothing happens!" - Curly Howard
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Selma in Sandy Eggo » Thu Sep 25, 2003 10:27 am

...both of which were rapidly liquefying. Abandoning the gelato to its fate, Haggis poured himself into his "resting state" bucket and...
>^..^<
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby barfle » Thu Sep 25, 2003 10:41 am

a figment of Haggis's imagination.

None of us actually exist, outside of Haggis. He's simply dreamed all of us up just so he could have some imaginary friends.

Harvey
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby haggis » Thu Sep 25, 2003 11:22 am

Buttimewarping back to Selma's postis it a toroid or a Tarus? I always suspected the earth is actually a five sided multidimensional cube with the water of the oceans rounding off the edges and at least one corner extending into......
Haggis

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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Thu Sep 25, 2003 11:59 am

the endfield. However, a point is not scored unless the football is held firmly by at least one...
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Serenity » Thu Sep 25, 2003 12:20 pm

Earth is God's sand box.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Selma in Sandy Eggo » Thu Sep 25, 2003 12:35 pm

**************Hijack!
The new IT contractors came through, just now. With clipboards.

They are here to help us.

Everyone who believes that, please raise your left hand. I have 80 acres of beautiful swampland, just east of suburban El Paso, with a spectacular ocean view. I am willing to sell for the the astonishingly low price of 160 million dollars.

**************** (seemed appropriate in this thread)

---------------*****------------

...of the laces. Having scored three consecutive goals, Haggis is sent from the game and the second string goes in, in geosynchronous orbit, to attend to ...
>^..^<
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Thu Sep 25, 2003 12:52 pm

the routine business of operating an aircraft carrier 62,000 miles above the earths surface. The first thing the young ensign noted was that the jet engines did not work well in the absence of atmosphere. The second was the that the crew was similarly affected. The aircraft themselves, did not behave well due to the lack of gravity.

In fact, the entire....
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Selma in Sandy Eggo » Thu Sep 25, 2003 1:00 pm

...substandard behavior so irked Izzy (still Stoner) that he morphed the CV-65 into the NCC-1701 (replacing the dilithium crystals with tribbloid Haggises) and challenged the bridge crew to a game of Old Maid.

The captain...

<small>[ 09-25-2003, 02:01 PM: Message edited by: Selma in San Diego ]</small>
>^..^<
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby jmfryar » Thu Sep 25, 2003 1:18 pm

...looking around the bridge at the wreckage left over from last nights party (debris strewn everywhere, the forward screen was painted mauve, while the port screen contained a vaguely pornographic image) realized that chunks of the debris were actually command stations and the aircraft carrier / starship was slowly drifting into the "Bleed" where...
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby haggis » Thu Sep 25, 2003 1:23 pm

silently curses all Trekkies and their damnable memories; they can't remember their kids birthday but they all know Spock's shoe size which is....
Haggis

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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Thu Sep 25, 2003 1:23 pm

The opposing team was waiting to "pop" their exposed backsides with wet towels. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he commanded....

(oops, looks like Haggis slipped a post into the stream where this was supposed to fit)

<small>[ 09-25-2003, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: Shapley ]</small>
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby OperaTenor » Thu Sep 25, 2003 1:53 pm

<OT picks up the thread, blatanly ignoring the nom de Scottish food staple, shunned by every other civilised culture's audacity at impugning OT's vernacular alacrity, not to mention his creativity and physical characteristics(or the lack thereof).>

...them to perform a flatulent rendition of all four "movements" of Beethoven's Ninth, followed by...
"To help mend the world is true religion."
- William Penn

http://www.one.org
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Bones » Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:10 pm

Bolero performed by Charlotte Church, the Opera Babes, Dennis the bowlegged bagpiper, and the Camden, New Jersey, Ballet and Stormdoor Repair Company...
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Thalberg » Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:28 pm

...Needless to say, the backside-popping crew was dismayed; not, however, as dismayed as the audience who...
"Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings."
( Robert Benchley )
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby barfle » Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:37 pm

...replied in kind en masse. The poor fellow who had to disinfect the air conditioner...
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