Well, it's just around the corner...I thought they/it should have a prominent place here on the old Triple B. After all, where would we be without them?
As my own dear mom is no longer here I thought I'd start things off with this (He means since she can't get him back for it! UB Ed):
Things My Mother Taught Me
:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL
DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're
in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and! I'll give you something to cry
about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your
neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit
there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
12. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you!"
)