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Postby Trumpetmaster » Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:26 pm

What do you get if a bee falls in the meat grinder?


A little humburger.
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Postby Shapley » Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:44 pm

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?




He got a little behind in his work.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:44 am

What do flies wear on their feet?


Shoos
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:44 am

What is a dentist's favorite musical instrument?


A tuba toothpaste. :rofl:
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:45 am

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?


If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan. :crazy:
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:47 am

What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?


A hobby horse.
:lol:
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:47 am

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?



I didn't do it on porpoise.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:48 am

What does a proud computer call his little son?



A microchip off the old block.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:48 am

What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed?


God bless America.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:49 am

Why won't a bike stand up by itself?


It's two tired.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:50 am

What did the candle say when he was down on his luck?


I'm at wick's end.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:51 am

Where do pigs park their cars?



In porking lots.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:52 am

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew the doctor's habit and would always have a drink waiting. But one day the bartender ran out of hazelnut extract, so he substituted hickory nuts. When the doctor arrived, he took a sip and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"




"No, I'm sorry," the bartender replied. "It's a hickory daiquiri, doc." :crazy:
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:53 am

Did you hear the watermelon joke?



It's pitful.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:53 am

Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank?


He wanted to wake up oily.
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:54 am

There's a small German town near Munich called Pfilzerplatz, and the town is renowned for producing fine stationery.

Anyway, Munich had a problem -- the thousands of stray dogs in the city were breeding with one another and overrunning the city.

So the people of Munich banded together and ran the dogs out of the city. Unfortunately, the dogs appeared in Pfilzerplatz.

The dogs took over everything, and the mayor decided to evacuate the town. The paper mills were shut down, and everyone left.

But a couple days later, the townsfolk, watching their town from the hills, saw smoke rising from the smokestacks.

They knew no humans were left in the town, so they concluded that the dogs had learned to operate the factories.

The mayor hurried to Munich's town hall and pleaded, "You've got to help us! The mills are alive with the hounds of Munich!"
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:55 am

What kind of tree grows in your hand?


A palm tree.
:rofl:
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Postby barfle » Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:27 am

What's the difference between a one-legged duck?

There is no difference. One leg is both the same.
:rolleyes:
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:43 am

What's Santa's favourite film?


The Last Picture Ho Ho How
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Postby Trumpetmaster » Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:44 am

What does Santa eat for breakfast?



Ho Ho Hocos
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