Oh woe is me....

[jamiebk]

Serenity, I am very sorry to hear about your personal circumstance. I hope things will ease and the kids, especially, can find a level spot in the turmoil. Best wishes.

[barfle]

Today, i was faced with the difficulty of informing my three children that "mommy and daddy" were to become "unmarried".

That's a shame. Every day I realize how lucky I am, and how little I deserve it.

Best wishes to you, and I hope things aren't split 1/4 for you, 1/4 for your ex, and 1/2 for the lawyers.

[Nicole Marie]

I am sorry to hear that S.... I went through a divorce about 2 years ago. It takes a year until things start to calm down. I do not have children so I can not imagine what your kids are going through but you are not alone and many of us have been there. All my best and if you need to talk just drop me a line.

[Trumpetmaster]

Serenity,
I am so sorry to hear that.
You and your children will be in my prayers...

TM

[treebeau]

Hi Serenity,

I feel for you. Been there (5 years ago) and share custody, though I don't get to be with my son every day like in the old days. It hurts and just plain sucks. Hopefully, down the road, it turns out to be a good thing for everyone. I hear that sometimes it works out that way.

Hi Nicole,

First time I heard that, and sorry for you too. I recall times that you really spoke highly of Bruno, and I confess that I made a silly joke back then about his mother telling you that you weren't good enough for him...in Portuguese. Hope you know that I was just being silly ol' me. You're right...simpler when no kids are involved.

Regards,
Tim B.

[barfle]

I went through a divorce about 2 years ago.

Sorry to hear about that, Nicole. Like I told Serenity, every day I realize how lucky I am, and how little I deserve it.

Possibly in two years you can put such things behind you, although that's not the same as getting over it.

[Trumpetmaster]

I went through a divorce about 2 years ago.

Ditto...
Very sorry to learn of that... Not an easy thing...

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

Divorce. Yes, it sucks. I've been both divorced and widowed: frankly, the divorce is worse. Harder to handle, and even more painful.

All you can do is the best you can do. Try really, really hard not to be angry at your ex when you're around the kids. You have my sympathy.

[Serenity]

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

Could you narrow the "sucky" part of divorce? I am looking forward to regaining a chunk of my freedom back.

1. the financial division
2. the property settlement
3. custody of the children
4. visitation, if applicable
5. through 109. - dealing with lawyers.
110 through 246 - dealing with courts and bureaucracies.

[Serenity]

[piqaboo]

Sorry to hear about the split, S. No fun. Kids do recover, move on, get perspective. (Been one, done that). Adults ? Depends. The leaver does, quicker. The leav-ee, slower, I'd think.

I am looking forward to regaining a chunk of my freedom back.

Having been only on the kid side, I think that's not really gonna happen.
Managing the kids is much more complicated post-divorce.

As Selma said, dont badmouth your ex in front of the kids. They wont appreciate it, wont forget or forgive it most likely, and probably wont say anything about it either. This is a good thing to save for a best friend or paid counselor, because your dates dont want to hear it either.

Best wishes.

[Nicole Marie]

Hey Serenity -

Selma's list is a good one! Divorce is hard enough but then you have to remember all the "little things" like documents, paperwork, filing deadlines etc. That never helps make it go easier. Some courts will asign a clerk to assist you if you do not use a private lawyer. That person can help with the process and keep it on track for you, less stress too.

Thanks to all who posted their nice words on my divorce. It was actually really easy. Bruno and I filed together, no lawyers and we are still close friends to this day. We talk everyday, I like his new girlfriend and he likes the person I am dating. We just realized we love each other deeply but were not a match for husband and wife and we are still each other's best friends. I know it is odd but it is perfect that we were able to remain friends.

[treebeau]

NM,

Why is it that everyone ELSE'S divorce can end up where they remain friends? Good for you two !!
Wish mine had ended that way.

Regards,
Tim B.

[BigJon@Work]

Nicole, bully to you and Bruno. After experiencing the acrimony in a divorce where I was peripherally involved, your story is refreshing.

[Serenity]

[treebeau]

I have a female friend who is VERY amicable with her ex. In fact, she brought him to a July 4th party AND he lives in a neighboring town so he was spending the weekend with her.

Both were as nice as could be and were very open and honest about not being right as a couple.
Weird, but true.

Regards,
Tim B.

[piqaboo]

Kids rather complicate things, but they are the main reason, IMO, to make the effort for an amicable breakup.

[barfle]

When my niece got married, his ex attended the wedding. Then she took the kids out of state.

[Serenity]