"And now for something completely different"

[OperaTenor]

...a flat stomach." But, then again, I used to hold that the earth was flat, and was proven wrong when I tried to drive to the edge, only to find it to be a corner rounded off by water. Of course I was swimming by then, and just as I was approaching the corner, a smell, like corned beef hash, but spicier and fouler, assaulted my olfactory. At that moment I was uncontrollably sucked down into a vortice, only to find...

Haggis, it's a damnable curse I tell you, a curse!! Always remembereing what people ordered, what I wanted to pick up at the store, what my mom said in 1974 to traumatize me, what was happening the last time my bird pooped on my shoulder, and the lyrics to those Monty Python and Frank Zappa songs! Can't....get them....out....of my......head. Oh...no...here it comes again! "Hey there, people I'm Bobby Brown, they say I'm the cutest boy in town. My car is fast, my teeth are shiny, I tell all the girls they can kiss my hiny...." ARGHGHGH!

<small>[ 09-26-2003, 09:41 AM: Message edited by: operatenor ]</small>

[Shapley]

... the Fall, followed by the Winter of our discontent, or was it incontinence. Whichever, it was darned cold. So cold, in fact, that....

[haggis]

"Foul" the referee calls. "Shapely, invoking "THE BARD in a manner that might attract unwanted comparison between him and Dr. Johnson." “5 yard penalty"

Ed. Oh, I forgot to mention I make up and change rules frequently, I'm just WAITING for Selma to violation one I haven't thought of yet.

Her penalty will involve the three panel judges of the Ninth Circuit, a rubber Annette Funicello Mickey Mouse suit (© Walt Disney), Ice tea, and a large German shepardess named Olga…..uhhh I got carried away, strike Olga, she’s actually one of my “penalties”…wrong thread

[jmfryar]

((I was actually reading through earlier posts to figure out the thread of the story...about halfway through it hit me...there was no discernable thread...LOL))

...it actually managed to freeze the very real nipples off a very real witch who was so incensed that she...

[Shapley]

...summoned the well digger, who was two weeks behind schedule, and ordered him to....

[haggis]

there was no discernable thread...LOL))

au contraie, mon Frere Damn that Carlin post in jokes!

The merely discernible to some is an obvious 5-lane highway to others, as Max the Miracle Maker said, there’s a big difference between nearly dead and completely dead

[OperaTenor]

...and "Have fun storming the castle!"

<but he made me hijack the thread. I can't help it if he makes those refences and I have to respond to them.>

<small>[ 09-26-2003, 10:30 AM: Message edited by: operatenor ]</small>

[OperaTenor]

Rudder action:

...take the elevator up to the CV-65/NCC-1701 morphodite ship and get Izzy's stash bag out of the air conditioning duct before the melted gelato ruined it. The well digger replied that he would go as soon as he finished his lunch of haggis, 'neeps & tatties(love them green tatties!), which would then put him yet another week behind schedule. At this point, the vortice became a waterspout, and I was shot up out of the water like...

[Shapley]

sands through the hourglass, but such are the days of our lives.

Meanwhile, the Queen had begun her song of Revenge. The Hebrew slaves picked up their anvils and joined in chorus. The tenor, sensing that the queen was really a soprano in disguise, shouted "Leave no thread unhijacked!". He leapt from topic to topic in his vain search for Lula.

Lula, meanwhile was hiding behind the lawyers office. Bottom, the well diggers donkey, had devoured all of the hay in the courtyard, and had taken an interest in her grass skirt. "Help!" she cried, "This donkey's exposed my..." but her shouts were lost in the din O'Ben, or was it the den of Odin? Whichever, it was darned noisy.

"If I can get enough of these threads tied together, I'll lasso that darned asteroid" shouted Shapley from the Big Country, whose soundtrack he had only recently discovered. But it was to no avail, Bottom had already started to devour....

[jmfryar]

...the 'Bleed' that ancient and morphus area that lies between the realities...the gel that holds our reality in one piece...the wall that separates "them" from "us"...the one thing holding back the hordes or rabid, radical, ultra-parasitical...

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

...stash-nabbing low-bidder IT techs-by-definition who escaped from the nearly-dug well (despite the GC's dilatory inattention to the unfinished state of the project and the witch's increasing state of fury) attacked the forward viewscreen despite the mauve paint layer, and fled through the hidden transporter link to the unhallowed halls of the Unseleigh Sidhe.

Bottom, in the lower courtyard of the castle, having tracked Lula to the lawyer's secret bookshelves with the wormhole to the Norwegian glacier, fell into the discontinuity, froze his rear end during the transition, and arrived long after Lula had negotiated the exchange of her mutilated grass skirt for a genuine Bali batik mini-sarong made by an obliging quilting heldentenor (who had long admired Lula for her many fine attributes and extensive travels).

The mutilated grass skirt and the frozen donkey-tail were donated...

[Shapley]

... to the pearl fishers, who used them to mend their nets, which had been damaged in the recent hurricane.

The troll, folling his rejection by over 1000 pokemon maidens, turned his attention to Lula, who had...

[OperaTenor]

...to confess her heart was given to the tenor, especially as she was an alto , and by so doing resisted the troll's advances.

Meanwhile, the pearl fishers went about weaving the mutilated grass skirt and frozen donkey tail into third socks, as their nets were hopelessly beyond repair. They then turned to their leader, Henry Rhenals, who told them...

<small>[ 09-26-2003, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: operatenor ]</small>

[barfle]

...to his dismay, been kidnapped by globe-wandering photographers, eager to show her the sights of the city close-up.

So close, in fact...

<OT, gelato NEVER melts, at least not in any civilized society!>

[OperaTenor]

<of course it doesn't. it doesn't last long enough. but whoever said this was civilized?

[haggis]

[..that they overlooked the Pearl fisher warden checking for their pearl fishing license,

Lula, unfortunately, was fined because her license had expired and it was only for “before swine” fresh water pearls, not the more expensive and harder to find pearls that can ONLY be found in..


OT, Selma, scared ya silly with the 9th Court threat din’t I?

[Shapley]

...fine jewelry stores such as those found on Roe-Day-Oh Drive. The finest specimens, of course, come from "The Pearly Gates", the finest store in this sector of the galaxy. Conveniently located right next door to "Harry's Pub", where Lula and the tenor were seen sipping Irish coffee over a fresh order of haggis.

Jim entered the pub, unnoticed by the patrons therein. This was a defining moment in his life. Four years he had laboured in Law School, to get to this point. "The only way you'll get into the Bar is to finish Law School." They had told him. Imagine his disappointment to find the place filled with patrons who had not completed one semester. "Have I been deceived?" He asked himself.

Among the patrons was Izzy the Stoner. Izzy had been watching Lula and the tenor, waiting patiently. Waiting, but for what? Suddenly, he leapt from his stool, and approached the tenor. As soon as she recognized Izzy, Lula...

<small>[ 09-26-2003, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: Shapley ]</small>

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

Haggis, the 9th circuit court of appeals frightens me not. I look forward to a chance to get my pale pink pattypaws on that lot.

It is my intention to force-feed them Twinkies, overcooked cabbage, and cooking sherry and then confine them to the Jerry Springer set. Survivors, if any, will be dropped off naked at the Blue Oyster Bar, at 1:30 AM, any given Saturday night/Sunday morning. Escapees will be skewered with #9 Afghan hooks.

They are a stench in the halls of justice, and an affront to most of California (San Francisco excepted. Maybe SF'll get miffed and seceed. I'll cheer them on...)

Those folks are very unlikely to come anywhere near me, or anyone like me. We inhabit different planets. But if they do, man oh man do I have plans!

Go ahead, ask me what I really think.

Scared, he says. He has me confused with somebody else.

Lemme at the wretches.

[jmfryar]

It's not fair to bring the 9th circuit into a thread involving creative rambling...

they're professionals while we are merely amatures...

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

Nonsense, jm, it's Haggis' thread and he brung 'em up. Where'd them frickin' fools go, lemme at 'em!

Make a note to yourself, jm. If, at some future time, you find yourself a member of an appeals court, beware of women in bifocals and comfortable shoes bearing Twinkies and afghan hooks.
Rudder engaged

As soon as she recognized Izzy, Lula...

...recognizing the Author of the Universe, immediately ordered another God's Blessing from Callahan (ignoring the stogy) and invited him to join herself and the tenor.

The fishers and trolls (having abandoned socks, nets, and bridges) conspired to replace the witch's well contractor with a wandering composer in search of a theme and he...