"And now for something completely different"

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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby piqaboo » Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:29 pm

"Sock it to me, big guy!". Tarzan looked puzzled. The PearlFisher blushed. Lula realized she had a foot in two separate universes and was glad she could do the splits (in either direction). Jane....
Altoid - curiously strong.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Jane » Mon Nov 07, 2005 5:13 pm

. . . meanwhile found an intra-reality rip and used Lula's distraction to slip away, wondering how on earth she got thrown into that realm in the first place. Then . . .
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” -O. Wilde
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Mon Nov 07, 2005 5:21 pm

...she instantly began brushing off the criticism of her "urban jungle" look (after all, they've alway's laughed at trend-setters, at first). She shrugged off the lears and jeers of the animal-rights activists who tried to splash blood on her leopard skin attire to shouts of "murderer" (where did they get the blood, by the way?), stepping this way and that to avoid them, keeping always just out of reach of the buckets of blood being hurled at her. When she finally reached the end of the gauntlet, she remained as spotless as ever. She threw a glance over her shoulder at the crowd behind her. They were now covered with the sticky red bodily fluid that had been intended to make some political point about her attire. The point had been obviously lost in the screams and sobs of the businessmen and women who now found their cotton/poly business suits hopelessly discoloured by the blood-slinging politicos. The activists quietly put down their buckets and tried to slip away, unnoticed. They weren't very successful at this, either.

Jane placed her hand on her hip, and glanced sideways at the nearest pearl fisher, who siezed the opportunity to place his arm in hers and escort her up the marble staircase. He cast a glance at Tarzan as the ascended, as if to bid a fond adieu to the the tempered ape.

Tarzan searched his loinclout for his admission ticket, but could not find it. He must have left in it his other loinclout, and that was back at the office. No time to change now, he jumped up, seizing on of the banners which streamed down the side of the building, and climbed to the balcony high above the boulevard. With a great heave he threw himself over the stone railing, and entered the gala through the double doors, arriving just as the elevator opened, and the Maitre' de Hotel announced the arrival of...

<small>[ 11-07-2005, 05:23 PM: Message edited by: Shapley ]</small>
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Jane » Tue Nov 08, 2005 4:03 pm

. . . the grim reaper who . . .
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” -O. Wilde
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:32 pm

...had gotten lost on his way to his next appointment. A wave of horror drifted over the gathering, as the Reaper drifted over to the dessert table, his eyeless sockets seemed fixed on the ice sculpture. The sculpture, a remarkable likeness of Hades, was even more remarkable given that the sculptor had never seen Hades in person, but sculpted it entirely from photographs his wife had taken during her recent holiday in the nether regions.

A strange chill filled the room as the Grim Reaper lingered, making Tarzan shiver in his loinclout. Tarzan was no stranger to Death, in fact he and Death had a shared a few beers only two nights ago. However, seeing him here, sampling the desserts and probing the sculture with his boney finger, gave him an Eire felling, much like being on a canal somewhere in Upstate New York.

Suddenly, the Reaper turned, and looked at one of the waiters. Pointing at him with his fleshless digit, he said...

<small>[ 11-08-2005, 06:04 PM: Message edited by: Shapley ]</small>
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby piqaboo » Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:51 pm

"when you work your fingers to the bone, whaddya get?"

"Boney fingers!" correctly replied the waiter, who then handed Ol' GR a glass of sweet tea.

The sight of the tea maid Jane remember....
Altoid - curiously strong.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Jane » Wed Nov 09, 2005 11:11 am

. . . that she'd left her stove on at home! Quickly, she . . .
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” -O. Wilde
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby piqaboo » Wed Nov 09, 2005 2:08 pm

dove for an exit, only to brush against a twisted mobius growing in the corner. She found herself seated in the pungent neopram, on top of a squalling .....
Altoid - curiously strong.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Tarzan » Wed Nov 09, 2005 3:47 pm

...baby rhinoceros who have astoundingly minty breath. Since rhino was already squalling before Jane got in pram, Jane decide rhino must be stuck by diaper pin somewhere, so she....
AAAAH -OH-AH-OOOOH-AH-OH-AH-OH!
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Wed Nov 09, 2005 4:18 pm

...picked up her first-aid manual and read:

Remove pin, count to three, throw, and duck!. She removed the pin, causing a severe case of diaper loss, counted to three, and then threw the naked baby rhino from the neo-pram. It was only during the final 'duck' phase of this evolution that she saw, much to her chagrin, that the title of what she had thought to be a first-aid manual said Munitions Handbook.

Lifting herself over the rail of the neopram, she looked for the baby rhino, only to find that...

<small>[ 11-09-2005, 04:19 PM: Message edited by: Shapley ]</small>
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Jane » Thu Nov 10, 2005 4:21 pm

. . . it had landed on the Grim Reaper's arms, successfully knocking him into Lula, Tarzan, and a thoroughly confused Ort. They landed in a disheveled looking pile of limbs at the feet of a surprised looking waiter.

"Oh crum," Jane muttered, grimacing at the sight. Frantically she thought of a way to fix the minor fix they were in before the Reaper lost his temper and decided to use his scythe on some unsuspecting party guest.

Unfortunately she didn't have time to devise a tidy plan because at that precise moment . . .
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” -O. Wilde
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby piqaboo » Thu Nov 10, 2005 4:57 pm

the baby rhino did what baby rhinos do, and marked his territory. Being as he was a baby rhino, this was a voluminous high pressure event. Unfortunately his unusually minty breath was not representative of the rest of his bodily secretions. The waiter shrieked, the...
Altoid - curiously strong.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:09 pm

...floor creaked, the pipes leaked, the garbage reeked, and the mouse squeaked. The Grim Reaper, looking ever grimmer, dropped the rhino, which immediately ran for the exit. Lula did likewise. Tarzan and Ort, however...
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Jane » Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:43 pm

. . . cowered under the deathly glare of Death, (well, they guessed it was a deathly glard, since that's as much as they could see, given the cowl over the Reaper's pasty head.) He thought that they had thrown him the baby rhino as a practical joke. Funny. Really.

With utmost precision, and the most meticulous of attention to detail, the Grim Reaper . . .

<small>[ 11-10-2005, 05:45 PM: Message edited by: Jane ]</small>
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” -O. Wilde
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby piqaboo » Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:44 pm

got involved in a thumb-wrestling competition. Ignoring all else - chaos, jane, lula, rhino, eeking of all sorts - they strained and grunted as if they were actually working hard. Once they settled the matter, with Tarzan winning the best 251 out of 501, they started comparing tattoos. meanwhile, back at the ranch dressing, a rhino was chomping down on the wild greens, the baby lettuces and the radiccio, but completely eschewing the iceberg lettuce. This was not a baby rhino, by any means. This was....
Altoid - curiously strong.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Shapley » Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:55 pm

...the mother of all rhinos, Rhino Myte. Her hide was tough as armour, her horn polished, showing great detail to the scrimshaw left there by a drunken sailor (now deceased), her feet blackened from stomping out fires, her eyes the colour of...
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Jane » Thu Nov 10, 2005 6:06 pm

the loveliest shade of grass green, with just a sparkle of the shiniest amber but don't let that fool you, for she . . .
“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.” -O. Wilde
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby McCridhe » Sun Nov 13, 2005 8:02 pm

The Geographic Information System specialist squints at this thread, mean while, tries to digest it, then slooooooooooowly backs out with a wild eyed look.

Later, she is found in the hall closet, sitting in a fetal position, flipping her lower lip with her fingers.

Bb-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bb-b-b-b-b-b-b-b....

etcetera etcetera ad infinitum ad nauseum
Mother Mo Cridhe!
It's Kate McCridhe!
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby piqaboo » Mon Nov 14, 2005 2:16 pm

And that is the last we see of the green & amber eyed, Rhino Mytie Geographic Information Specialist. Her forlorn baby rhino still bounces aimlessly about the thread, crying "mamamamamamamamamamamama......." and blubbering a sound remarkably like flipping her lower lip with her fingers "Bb-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bb-b-b-b-b-b-b-b....".
The Reaper, eager to be rid of his unsolicited new companion, tossed the blubbering baby rhino to.....
Altoid - curiously strong.
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Re: "And now for something completely different"

Postby Selma in Sandy Eggo » Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:18 pm

Izzy the Stoner, who'd finally recovered his stash and was wandering up past the neopram and wondering about the marked mess around the hall closet.

Izzy, never one to worry about details such as maturity or appropriateness, promptly shared out a bit of the stash to the poor baby, grokked up his connection to the CV65/NCC-1701E, and had Baby transported into the hall closet tesserization, with Rhino Mytie in tow.

Izzy then turned to Ort and the Reaper, and asked....
>^..^<
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