"And now for something completely different"

[Shapley]

...reconsider her contract with the ad agency and perhaps even seek a new agent. When she accepted the position she had no idea it would entail all of this interdimensional jumping about. She was spending a fortune on personal care items in what appeared to be losing effort to counter the effects of transdimensional movement. Even worse, no one warned her of the effects of time travel on her biological clock, which now seemed to be...

<small>[ 12-07-2005, 05:37 PM: Message edited by: Shapley ]</small>

[Tarzan]

....made to work by mystical force, perhaps by rain god or sun god.

Jane begin to wonder why all attention on her in story. What happen to all other characters? Jane starting to feel intense pressure to hold reader's interest in story - Jane not like that. but Jane also feel helpess to do anything about it, much like hamster on treadmill.

While Jane wonder about this, Jane hear....

(First, Tarzan not realize Jane as ..................mature as she is. Tarzan like thought of being shacked up with older woman. Tarzan still want to acquiesce to Jane's every whim in order to make Jane want to stay in jungle with Tarzan, Boy, and Cheetah[and Tarzan fervently hopes change will make Cheetah stop touching himself].
Secondly, Tarzan hope Piqaboo keep her involvement to strictly giving advice. Tarzan not emotionally prepared for polyamorism. Tarzan not that kind of swinger.)

[piqaboo]

the sound of a resounding slap. She looked in all directions, but could see nothing...nothing at all.

Meanwhile, back in the Jungle, Tarzan was gingerly rubbing his cheek, where Piqaboo had laid one on him. The five-finger whelt was coming up bright and clear. "Take that, you heathen pig", she snapped, 'I'm Jane's buddy. Keep your filthy thoughts away from me!".

Jane began slowly to see thru the myst. (The myst seems to have risen due to mystical forceful interaction between the rain god and sun god.) What she saw did not reassure her. A clear view of .....

[Jane]

. . . the exit came into sight; one complete with green rectangular box and flickering light. With no hesitation whatsoever, she ran for the door and flung it open with strength that would have suprised Superman. Just before reaching the door she slipped on a carelessly discarded ball of slime and fell out of the dimension.

At that instant Ort, Lula, Joe, Izzy and his girlfriend (Isabel was it?) tripped through the door. They scrambled to their feet, fleeing for their very lives. All the occupants of this dimension froze in their shoes as the ground beneath them shuddered and through the 'exit' door entered a giant . . .

[Haggis@wk]

...sloth.....

(well, what would you expect???)

[Shapley]

...eaten...

[Jane]

...by the next door neighbor's tiny ...

[Shapley]

...four-legged fuzzy thing that she calls a 'dog'. The occupants shuddered, not because of the giant thing that just entered, but rather by the total lost of thread context in this dimension. Luckily, their puzzlement was soon rendered irrelevant as they were all whisked into yet another dimension. Then again, perhaps this was a repeat trip to a dimension previously visited. It was hard to tell.

Tarzan was the first to speak, but everyone ignored him. Izzy spoke up next: "...

[piqaboo]

.........!"
"...?" replied Jane.
Isabell stamped her foot and shouted " ....! ...! .........

[Shapley]

..?.."

Everyone appeared to agree with this sentiment, as could be adjudged by their agreeable silence.

It took only a few moments, however, before Tarzan broke the silence. He looked at Jane, who had been, more or less, ignoring his presence, and said: "...

[Shapley]

...So, have you seen any good movies lately?".

Jane, somewhat taken aback by this sudden change of subject, not to mention the change in Tarzan's demeaner, replied: "Yes. I just recently saw the King Kong."

"Tarzan see King Kong, no like giant ape." He responded, lapsing back to his normal broken English. He quickly corrected himself: "I did not like the giant ape character. He looked entirely too unreal."

This seemed to please Jane, as she smiled slightly. "Well, I suppose that's too be expected. Did you like the story at all?" She asked.

"Story not bad...er. I mean the storyline wasn't so awful, but it's been done to death." He said, returning her smile.

"Would you like some coffee?" Jane asked.

Tarzan replied in the affirmative, althoug I didn't hear exactly how he said it, as I was watching Bottom approaching from the alley, carrying what appeared to be a...

[Jane]

. . . miniature sized umbrella. He immediately unfolded it and said, "Tut, Tut, it looks like rain." Then swung the umbrella up over his head.

I stared at him in wonder as he approached. As he came closer I . . .

[piqaboo]

realized he wasnt talking to himself, but was talking to the gold-masked figure riding him piggy-back. I heard Tut reply "Good, we need the rain soon, mon, soon." Bottom looked ....

[Jane]

...stunned. "Did you just call me mon?"

"Of course I did," Tut said peevishly. "Now let's get out of here quick before that girl with the four-legged fuzzy thing that she calls a 'dog' comes back. I'd really hate to . . .

[Tarzan]

"...have fuzzy thing called 'dog' decide my gold mask was good place to relieve self."

Bottom turn around and hightail it in other direction, leaving others to ponder significance of that.

Tarzan say, "Don't know what come over me, talking with articles and connectives like that. Promise to never let happen again."

At that point, four-legged fuzzy thing called "dog" walked up and peed on Tarzan's leg, making Tut truly prophetic......

(Jane, sorry I away so long. Took long time to find contractor to spruce up tree to my, and hopefully, your satisfaction. Also very time consuming to clean up after Cheetah these days with his disgusting dung-throwing at picture of Bush. Tarzan sincerely hope Cheetah will quit once Jane come home to jungle......................................that is, IF Jane ready and want to come home to jungle. BTW, Boy has now been in room for 23 days without coming out, but keeps sending out requests for more Kleenex. Tarzan puzzled.)

[Jane]

... indeed.

Tarzan shook the wet off his leg and looked around for a leaf or something.

Jane, who had rather enjoyed Tarzan's moments of lucid speech and 'talking with articles and connectives like that' sighed and handed him a handkerchief from her bag.

"Look Bottom and Tut are getting away!" she said. "We should follow them. Let's go." And with that she . . .

(Well hello there Tarzan. Jane had wondered where you'd disappeared to. Sounds like the remodeling is coming along nicely. Make sure Boy gets the Kleenex with lotion so his nose doesn't turn red. Put Cheeta outside for a while if he's still consumed with his dung throwing antics. He'll come back for dinner, don't worry about that. )

<small>[ 01-12-2006, 01:01 PM: Message edited by: Jane ]</small>

[Shapley]

...departed down the street that Bottom and Tut had just traveled. She watched as Bottom turned left a couple blocks away. She hurried to the corner she had just seen him negotiate, only to find...

[Tarzan]

.....Bottom walking with Ort and Lula(pushing neopram with squalling, minty-breathed rhino in it), plus Izzy with CV 65/NCC-1701E morphodite aircraft carrier in nanotube ribbon tow. All seemed to be in very animated discussion. Upon closer approach, Jane realize it actually an argument over which dimension all are currently occupying. Some held out for occupying 5th dimension, but others thought that had too much soul.

Just then, elevator doors whisked open.........

(Jane, Boy not have cold. However, Kleenex with lotion probably still do him good.
Remodleing finished, even have A/C installed. Was able to get off-season rate.
Tarzan tried putting Cheetah outside, but then Cheetah retaliated by smearing dung all over Tarzan's 911.

Tarzan could sure use your help....)

<small>[ 01-12-2006, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: Tarzan ]</small>

[piqaboo]

<Run, Jane, Run. See Jane Run. Jane is Running away from Tarzan. Jane is Smart. See Jane be Smart. Run, Jane, Run!>

[Tarzan]

Originally posted by piqaboo:
<Run, Jane, Run. See Jane Run. Jane is Running away from Tarzan. Jane is Smart. See Jane be Smart. Run, Jane, Run!>

(Tarzan think Piqaboo being a bit harsh. Tarzan merely attempting to show adaptability given certain situational requirements in order to please Jane and woo her back into jungle. Not to mention persistence, of course.)