Beer - So much more than just a breakfast drink.
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - W.C. Fields
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -Ernest Hemingway
And God said: Let there be vodka! And He saw that it was good. Then God said: Let there be light! And then He said: Whoa - too much light.
As a rule, I don't drink -- as a habit, I do!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
Beer - The reason I wake up every afternoon.
Beer contains Vitamin Pee.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Beer: Now THERE'S a temporary solution.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your beer.
Dough, the stuff, that buys my beer, Ray, the guy that tends the bar, Me, the guy, who drinks my beer, Far, the distance to the bar, So, I think I'll have a beer, La, Laa lAA lAh LaH LAA LAAAH! Tea, no thanks I want a beer, which brings us back to Dough Dough Dough!
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Give a man a beer, he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, he'll waste a lifetime.
I don't drink anymore. Of course, I don't drink any less, either.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra
I have a drink to celebrate the little things. Like Tuesdays - we only have one of those a week!
I killed a six-pack just to watch it die.
I swear to drunk I'm not God!
I'd rather have a beer than win father of the year - Homer Simpson
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. -Tom Waits
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. - David Daye
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. - Jack Handy
I'm not an alcoholic I'm a drunk cause i dont go to meetings...
Love makes the world go 'round? So what? Beer makes it go 'round twice as fast.
Many people die of thirst - but the Irish are born with one.
Once during prohibition, I was forced to live on nothing but food and water. - W.C. Fields
One more and I'll be under the host - Dorothy Parker
Remember I before E, except in Budweiser.
Scotch - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine.
Scotch. Even the Irish will drink it...
Some people have six pack abdomens. I have a keg.
The best days to drink beer are days that end in the letter, "Y".
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart
There are 5 signs that you are drunk. The first one is loss of memory, but I can't remember the rest.
There are only two times when I drink beer, when I'm alone and when I'm with someone else.
There's too much blood in my alcohol system
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
To some it's half empty, To some it's half full. To me it's time for a beer run!
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
What's on the mind when sober, is on the tongue when not. - Josh Seidel
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman
Whiskey was invented so the Irish wouldn't rule the world.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. - David Moulton
Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but a wheel does not go as well with pizza. - Dave Barry
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa
You know you are getting old, when happy hour is a nap.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin
How do I go through a six-pack? drink two, spill two, give two away.
Quod scripsi, scripsi.