Firefighter needs some help....

[911brad]

I’m hoping that maybe I can get some advice from the board members here on a topic. The problem in question is girls. I decided to post here in Nicole’s area since she’s in my peer group age wise and maybe she has some insight for me.<P>First off I’ll prelude my quandary with some biographical information. I’m 24 years old. I work full time as a 9-1-1 Telecommunicator for a local police department and a lot of part time hours as a firefighter and emergency medical technician. Besides that I’m also in the Army National Guard. People in public safety tend to stick together and most, if not all, of my friends that I regularly spend time going out with work in public safety in one manner or another as well. Most of these people are only into going out to clubs or bars. Once in a while that’s okay, but not too much for me. Furthermore because of the weird schedules we all work it’s not easy to meet new friends or people to “go out with.” <P>With that being said, I move on to the issue and events at hand: This weekend the Milwaukee Symphony is playing a tribute to Aaron Copland that I really wanted to go to, but not alone. (Yeah, I thought that was ironic too considering the whole ro-day-o vs. ro-dee-o controversy going on. I’m a ro-dee-o person by the way.) Well I asked one of the girls I know from another police agency if I could treat her to a nice dinner and an evening at the symphony, just as friends and nothing more. Very out of character for her, she turned down my invitation telling me that she “did not care for that kind of music and that it sounded kinda boring to her…” Fair enough… Not everybody’s into that kind of stuff. <P>So on to my problem. Where can I find the girls that are into the more sophisticated pleasures in life like fine dining and an evening at the symphony? I thought for sure that this kind of thing would be most girls romantic dream date. <P>Sorry for the long winded post. I look forward to some insight and enlightenment from the group. Stay safe out there everybody!<BR>

[OperaTenor]

Hi Brad, I'm afraid you're getting close to bringing out the cynic in me, and with my dark side exposed, I may be run off the board on a cybernetic rail, so to speak.<P>I'm sorry to hear of your dilema. Unfortunately, it seems to me most people, especially in your age range, have a differing sense of what constitutes a good time than what I would assume most of us here on this forum do. I have opinions on why that is, and they're mostly centered around susceptibility to and conditioning by the popular mass media, and if I'm not careful I'll be up all night ranting about that! Whatever the case may be, we're in a pickle when it comes to our social pursuits. I say we because I'm single and have a peculiar blending of avocations and passions in my life as well. I'm 42, divorced twice, no kids, have a macaw for a pet (15 years), work as a motorcycle parts manager by day, sing professionally at the opera and at church by night, enjoy good food and good wine (even to the point of being a little bit of a wine snob),and have a motorcycle as my sole means of transportation (and like to ride it hard for fun). I've made it very difficult for someone to even catagorize me, let alone like <I>all</I> of the different aspects of me. It seems to me that a lot of people (read: women, if you wish) shy away from the unusual and adventurous when it comes to relating to matters of the heart. They want safety, and they see safety in the known. Right now, I'm trying to be patient and just life happen, and remember that how I live with people, especially my friends, is going to bring me more long-term happiness than the hot pursuit of skirt (which I find more and more just creates more frustration than anything else). I really have faith in the belief that if she's out there, we'll meet and relate when the time comes. I also believe that a good spousal relationship is something of a co-conspiracy, where each partner conspires to make the other's life richer and fuller.<P>So, after all that, what do you do? I say be patient, persistent, and grow some teflon skin, because you're going to hear the word "no" a lot. But if you don't compromise your standards, when you hear "yes", it'll probably be worth it.<P>In answer to your question about this weekend: what's more important to you, taking in a rare concert, or taking in the concert only if you have company. For me, if she doesn't want to go, it's her problem, and I'll only make it my problem if I let her rejection interfere with my pursuit of enjoyment. What's the down side of going alone as opposed to having a date? Is it really that big of a deal, compared to the event itself? Can't answer those for you.<P>Wow, I think I got through all that without going off on the rants I was afraid of going on! Don't see any lynch mobs out there, no smell of tar and chickens......<P>PS. And you thought <I>you</I> were long-winded!<P> <p>[ 01-29-2003: Message edited by: operatenor ]

[barfle]

There just ain't no accountin' for some folks tastes.<P>I'm pretty lucky in the feminine companion area, as I've been married for 28 years to someone who shares a lot (but certainly not all!) of my interests. It took a while for us to come together, but it was worth the wait.<P>As far as doing things that we don't share interest, I have no problem going stag to sci-fi movies, car races (she usually goes, but not all the time), and football games. I also used to travel a lot on business, and when I had the chance to attend an event that I wanted to, going stag was just fine. Yes, it would have been better with a friend, but I wouldn't pass it up because I didn't have one with me at the time.<P>Don't pass up the concert just because you don't have a date, and have a good time.

[OperaTenor]

Of course, there's also (saying with GREAT hesitation) the CMLE (Classical Music Lover's Exchange, which I know nothing about other than the ads)that's being advertised on b.com. I've never been one to muckle onto a dating service. Seems too much like trying too hard.

[Nicole Marie]

Hi Brad-<P>Your chances of meeting a girl at the performacne are pretty good! Most performances have an hour before the show where they serve wine and people can mingle and get to know each other. You may meet someone then. Or during intermission get a glass of wine and see if there some hot chic hanging around. And if she's already at the symphony then she does enjoy classical music!So bring a male friend with you to Copland and go pick up a chic! Check if your local symphony does singles nights. Some museums and symphonies in my area do singles night where they have an hour before a performacne where you can meet people.<P>Try going to museums, I've met some wonderful dates at my local museum (not during the singles nights but when I was just standing there looking at a painting and someone walked up to me). Try coffee houses, the symphony etc. places that you are interested in going is where you will find someone with the same interests. And don't be afraid to talk to girls! We don't mind being approached as long as the guy has something interesting to say and NO PICK UP LINES!

[OperaTenor]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nicole Marie:<BR><STRONG> We don't mind being approached as long as the guy has something interesting to say and NO PICK UP LINES!</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You mean, "Hi there, what's your sign?" doesn't cut it anymore? Maybe that's my problem......perhaps getting rid of the lingam and the leisure suit would be a good move as well........<P> :p

[barfle]

According to the commercial, if you bring jewelry, it will be a "triumphant evening!"

[911brad]

Thanks for the tips everybody. I think I'm going to try and talk a buddy into going and do just like Nicole suggested. If only I wasn't so gosh darn shy and afraid of girls. Yeah I know... Big tough Fireman afraid of girls. Hey, they've been known to bite pretty hard. It's worth a shot. <P>Hey Operatenor, anybody ever tell you that you remind them of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? I think of that all the time reading your posts.<P>Stay safe out there!<P>Brad<BR>

[treebeau]

Firefighter,<P>I was in a similar situation in my late 20's, when I moved to a town that is dominated by married people. I asked friends to set me up with eligible, single friends of theirs, but nobody knew single women. I decided to just forget about dating, then I accidentally found a date...at a bookstore. She was one of the employees and helped me find a particular book. Then we started going out. She was intelligent, and loved classical music, and as you know, those two things are usually mutually exclusive.<P>Thinking about it now, I realize that you don't need a rehearsed pick up line to ask a bookstore employee to help you find a book. Also, you tend to find when you're not looking.<P>One other thing (and you may refer to a post of mine in a different thread)...she liked the Sibelius Symphony number 2. That sucker's nearly an hour long, you know. <P>Regards, and good luck,<BR>Tim (been there) B.

[Nicole Marie]

Hey Treebeau! That's how my husband and i met. I was working in a CD store and he needed help finding a CD! 2 years later... we were married! You do find dates and more when you are not looking. But now my husband admits that the needing "help finding a CD" was his pick up line. If only I had known!

[OperaTenor]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by FirefighterBrad:<BR><STRONG> Hey Operatenor, anybody ever tell you that you remind them of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? I think of that all the time reading your posts.<P>Stay safe out there!<P>Brad<BR>

[monkeymd2b]

Wow! pay for a plane ticket and I'm there! It seems like most of my friends and acqaintences are in med school, the pharmacology masters program, or in the school of public health (I'm not originally from new orleans) and when they want to hang out it usually involves bars and booze and while I have met some nice people here and there, I usually end up giggly and talking with some weirdo...um I mean a classmate <BR>After my encounter with the Freak, I'm keeping my distance from the bookstore where I used to study just cause I don't want to entertain his relentless questions and comments. I thought that taking notes and reading a book that was far too thick to be for pleasure was enough of a subtle sign that I wasn't interested in him...perhaps I need to work on those a bit more. And the dumbest thing was the choice of books he had with him that he flipped through during the interrogation - a photobook of queen elizabeth and some oprah book. If he had a clever response as to why those books, then perhaps it would have been okay but his reponse was "yeah" then he laughed half-heartedly. why me?!?

[bignaf]

if the only way to pick up a "classical" music loving girl is by asking for help, I can forget about it. ME? asking for help? incocievable! I'm all-powerful! I know everything!

[priya978]

That's pretty much a desperate plea for help.

[911brad]

Now when all of the people I know tell me "you need help Brad" is this the type of help that fits into this little plan we have here? If so, everybody's been giving me the right advice already for YEARS!!! I think I'll be able to take some of the tips here and put them to good use. <P>As for the concert, it sounds as though I'm going to be stuck on ambulance the night I would have been able to go. I'll have to keep a closer eye on future events. Thanks again everybody. <P>Stay Safe out there!!!<P>Brad

[priya978]

Good cover-up excuse Brad. <BR>

[treebeau]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nicole Marie:<BR><STRONG>...But now my husband admits that the needing "help finding a CD" was his pick up line. If only I had known! </STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Howdy,<P>Yes, but did you let him know ahead of time that you played the bass?<P>I'm kidding, I'm kidding!!<P>Seriously, though, what a nice way to meet someone with common interests, right? I mean, go to a nightclub and you're going to meet people whose interests are drinking and flirting.<P>Regards,<BR>Tim B.

[bignaf]

two lines not to utter as pickup lines: "Nice day today" and "I play the double bass".

[OperaTenor]

Or, "Wanna get lucky? <I>I'm</I> a double bass player."

[Nicole Marie]

Ha Ha funny! The rest of the staff is getting a good laugh out of the recent double bass jokes. Nothin' but love for ya' all!