Silly, silly facts...

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Silly, silly facts...

Postby jmfryar » Sun Aug 17, 2003 3:55 pm

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I still can't get over the pig!!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)(Although.....what if we were to mate a lion with the pig?)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig?? and the lion??)
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby bignaf » Sun Aug 17, 2003 5:22 pm

LMREO. it's will take too much energy to figure out which are true.
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby dkm32 » Sun Aug 17, 2003 5:52 pm

Thanks, jmfryar.

I think I understand what's behind some of your earlier postings a lot better now. :roll:

<small>[ 08-17-2003, 06:54 PM: Message edited by: dkm32 ]</small>
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby Selma in Sandy Eggo » Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:00 am

Originally posted by jmfryar:

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
I'll get back to you on that. It'll take a while.
>^..^<
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby jmfryar » Mon Aug 18, 2003 7:32 am

No rush on that...

And bignaf, they are all purportedly true...
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby Shapley » Mon Aug 18, 2003 12:29 pm

Who, exactly, had the job of timing the pig? Or the lion, for that matter.

Neither is a job I would care for.

Would the presence of an observer impact the study?

You have to wonder about "facts" like these, when you think about how the data could have been compiled.

V/R
Shap
Quod scripsi, scripsi.
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby Marye » Mon Aug 18, 2003 12:45 pm

[quote]Originally posted by dkm32:
[b] Thanks, jmfryar.

I think I understand what's behind some of your earlier postings a lot better now. :D :D :D
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby jmfryar » Mon Aug 18, 2003 1:48 pm

Originally posted by Shapley:
Who, exactly, had the job of timing the pig? Or the lion, for that matter.
Because you asked...

Observations of lions in natural and unnatural habitats is easy enough. As they are the top of the food chain, with no natural predators, it is quite easy to observe what is going on...

Now, if you happen to notice that the male is quite randy, it might raise a question or two in the mind of any animal behavorist...

With regard to the pig, it's an animal that has been studied literally inside and out due to it's close physiological proximaty to humans in so many ways. Determining length and intensity of an orgasm is probably a biproduct of mapping the brain in some study or other...

If you wanted the specific references to the materials and the studies, I don't think I'm gonna go that far...I'm not gonna give Homeland Security any reason to be looking my way...

On a side note - there's a contingent of West Virginians that come to the state fair in Massachusets every year. Everyone knows who they are, since they sport the same t-shirts every year...

It bears the logo "Where's the sheep rides at?" with a picture of a man, squatting behind a sheep, who has a very suprised look on its face...

Maybe you should ask one of them?
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby barfle » Mon Aug 18, 2003 1:51 pm

JM, you need to stop dating both West Virginians and sheep! :D
--I know what I like--
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby Angie Parkes » Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:04 pm

We have a legit rodeo event here called "mutton busting"...

As for timing the pig, I want to know if the 30 minute deal goes for both male and female pigs.
Cheers,
Angie
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby jmfryar » Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:14 pm

Almost 101 Weird Facts About Things

The Internet is crammed with lists of weird facts. Some leading biolinguists would argue that these are 73% more true.
1. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = the devil
2. The most common name in the world is 26 inches tall.
3. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is already married.
4. There are two United States for every person in the United States.
5. Mohammed never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
6. More people are killed annually by Charlie Chaplin look alike contests than die in a whale's penis.
7. A plastic flamingo has the largest penis of any other animal in relation to its size.
8. The average person falls asleep in cannons.
9. Muscles aren't made out of paper, they're made out of nutmeg.
10. No month in the English language turns teeth orange, silver, and purple.
11."I am." is the shortest complete sentence in seven minutes.
12. Bernard Clemmens of London was the first 5 year old child born in a hospital
13. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a wall somewhere.
14. Average life span of a dolphin: 7 pitches.
15. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the average person with enough leather for a year's supply of Coca-Cola.
16. A domed stadium is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
17. Thirty-five percent of the people who use words are 5'8.
18. Pound for pound, freckles cost more than new cars.
19. "Pine head" has been translated into Klingon.
20. Moths have white farts.
21. Rock Music kills dying persons.
22. The average American/Canadian drinks about 600 decks of playing cards
a year!
23. Hamburgers sleep with one eye open!
24. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat a star.
25. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of Superman.
26. A priest travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.!
27. There are more professional sports games in the U.S, than real ones!
28. The parrot's intelligence is comparable to the NFL.
29. In ancient Egypt, spiders plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
30. Reno, Nevada is west of plants.
31. An ostrich's human brain is bigger than its brain.
32. Cats' credit cards glow under a blacklight.
33. Lobsters have life-size blood.
34. Dogs' mouths are 200 times cleaner than an atomic bomb.
35. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a zip code.
36. A pig's sex change operation lasts for 30 minutes.
37. Pigs are the only animals other than humans that can get one cup of coffee.
38. Butterflies taste with their money. At last report, thirty-one of these have been killed.
39. If Barbie were 27-20-36, her measurements would be 39-23-33.She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
40. A plastic container holds between 1 and 7 terabytes (1 and 7 million megabytes) of data.
41. Every 100g of Corn Flakes has 1 mg of East Germany.
42. Cows sleep only 3 hours a sneeze.
43. When the Earth's moon leaves the U.S. Treasury, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year.
44. On average, 100 people choke to death on speakers every year.
45. Banging your head against an ant uses 150 calories an hour.
46. Toothpaste is called a word.
47. In the U.S. there is, on average, three days per day.
48. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for Jimmy Carter.
49. On average people fear cotton more than they do death.
50. The strongest eye in the body is the tongue.
51. Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is American.
52. Cocaine once contained cocaine in the early 1900's, hence the name.
53. The volume of a cassette is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.
54. Hitler and Napoleon both had only one head.
55. It takes 42 feet in your face to frown. It only takes 4 feet to extend your arm and smack someone upside the head.
56. 97% of all paper money in the US contains traces of presidents.
57. The only two days of the year in which there are no donkeys are the day before and the day after the Major League all-star Game.
58. No NFL team, which plays its home games in a bottle, has ever won a Superbowl.
59. Smokey the Bear can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when certified kosher.
60. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its color is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's color off.
61. A toothpick is the object most often choked on by a soda.
62. Aluminum is strong enough to support 90,000 pounds per year.
63. Americans spend $1.5 billion dollars every household on toothpaste.
64. In 75% of American footballs, women manage the money and pay the bills.
65. It takes the English language 50,000 years to start decomposing.
66. Starvation is excellent for cleaning brass, especially tarnished or corroded brass.
67. An average of 200 million credit cards are used every day in Heinz ketchup.
68. Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing carbon dioxide poisoning in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
69. Each king in quicksand represents a great king from history.
70. If done perfectly, any rubik's cube combination can be solved in 17 orgasms.
71. China has more English fecal matter than the United States.
72. The average wrinkle has 8 insects' legs in it.
73. A 60-minute tape contains 565 feet of muscle.
74. 20252 rhymes with 12,345,678,987,654,321.
75. Approximately sixty circus performers have been shot from human mouths.
76. Carnegie Mellon University offers bag piping as a vitamin.
77. Pinocchio is Italian for "dork".
78. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly than barnacles.
79. Miss Piggy's urine is medicine.
80. 7'1 basketball star Wilt Chamberlain's parents were intoxicated.
81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in personal ads for dating.
82. A lifetime supply of all the sun burn you need weighs only about eight ounces.
83. A pack-a-day smoker will approx. lose 2 measurements every ten years.
84. A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from air crashes. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while air crashes take a few weeks.
85. A red-haired man is more likely to go bald than Los Angeles, California.
86. Anyone else laughs about 15 times a day.
87. A tomato is 5 times hornier than the average human male.
88. Every two thousand frowns create one chocolate bar.
89. If you are locked in a completely sealed room, you will die of pleasure before you die of oxygen deprivation.
90. Sherlock Holmes managed to sustain a major for an officially recorded time of 2 minutes and 42 seconds.
91. By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you can't sink in major league baseball.
92. If you have a male chimpanzee in your stomach, it will come up while you're asleep to lick the salt off your lips.
93. Ketchup was once used as ketchup in the United States. In the 1830's it was sold as Dr. Miles Compound Extract of Blood.
94. New testicles do not generally appear after the age of 20.
95. Blue is the favorite blue of 80% of Americans.
96. The average web page contains 500 ballpoint pens.
97. The smallest man alive is a poisonous spider.
98. Until 1990, sausages were still legal tender in the Bible.
99. Mother or "Mommy" is the word most often spoken by a tapeworm.
100. About 5% of Americans claim to have talked to a square inch personally.
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby jmfryar » Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:30 pm

Thoughts from Andy Rooney

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid."

That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?
You wouldn't ask them anything.
It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your
sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved.
Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our
driveway.
My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?"
"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many
boxes it
takes.
Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine,
we pulled his boat into the dock, lifted up this big ol' stringer
of bass and this idiot on the dock goes,
"Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit.
And there's only one way to test it.
"Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...They
want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts
when
they bite you..."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-
road gas stations.
The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he
said,
"Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.
I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled
right up
on me...
Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago.
A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45
minutes.
We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and
grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!"
See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.


I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure.
Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge.
The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried.
I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the
report.
He went through his basic questioning ....okay....no problem.
I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked,
"So, is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself!
I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said,
"No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."


I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said,
"Are you still here?"
I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to your friends.

The next time someone says something stupid.........
ask them where their sign is.
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby treebeau » Mon Aug 18, 2003 3:10 pm

Bill Engvall, not Andy Rooney.

Regards,
Tim B.
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby jmfryar » Mon Aug 18, 2003 3:27 pm

don't look at me...I merely copy what I'm sent...
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby treebeau » Mon Aug 18, 2003 3:30 pm

I'm not looking at you.
(ewwwwww, and neither are 950 women! :D

Regards,
Tim B.
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby Marye » Mon Aug 18, 2003 4:42 pm

Originally posted by treebeau:
Bill Engvall, not Andy Rooney.

Regards,
Tim B.
I thought it was much too funny for Andy Rooney. :D ;)
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby OperaTenor » Tue Aug 19, 2003 12:25 am

It's kinda scary when Tim has to specify he's kidding!
"To help mend the world is true religion."
- William Penn

http://www.one.org
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby jmfryar » Tue Aug 19, 2003 8:23 am

I gotta say thanks though...had never heard of the guy and I took a look at his web page yesterday...looks pretty funny. When I have a moment, I'll have to go back and explore it a bit...
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby treebeau » Tue Aug 19, 2003 8:29 am

Howdy,

Yeah, I have not been the best of communicators lately, and just want to make SURE that I don't hurt anyone.

Regards,
Tim B.
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Re: Silly, silly facts...

Postby OperaTenor » Wed Aug 20, 2003 4:59 am

It wouldn't be so bad if you'd just stop calling her "Nicky"...... ;)
"To help mend the world is true religion."
- William Penn

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