"Beyond Therapy" Commercial

[welcid]

Has anyone jotted down the wording of the current "Beyond Therapy" commercial that Beethoven.com is running? I'd love to have this great list of psychoses and the dial-in instructions that accommany them. Thanks to anyone who can provide this.

Welcid

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

I'll work on it, if I remember. I'm delusional, and I'm still waiting for the call transfer to the mother ship to complete.

[OperaTenor]

Hi Welcid,

Lurking, are we?

[Schmeelkie]

I think it's great too - I have to work not to laugh out loud. Is it directly from the play? Someone might be able to look that up.... I should be working right now so....

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

I gave up my efforts at transcription (the commercial is usually into the third line before I notice it's on again) and googled. Came up with the following joke.

Hello! Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline!

</font>

• <font size="2" face="arial">If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly, being certain to touch the table and counting to 10 between each press.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you are Co-Dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you are Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press since no one will answer.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the Pound Button until a representative comes on the line.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you have Short-Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="arial">If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are too busy to help worthless people like you.</font></li>

<font size="2" face="arial">And thank you for calling the Mental Health Hotline!

[OperaTenor]

Move along please, nothing to see here.



<small>[ 04-05-2006, 05:12 PM: Message edited by: OperaTenor ]</small>

[jamiebk]

Maybe this will help:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/mentalhealth.html

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

Current commercial is for an Aussie Shiraz - wineexp.com is the advertiser. They're talking about fall weather, football, chili.

Did I somehow miss summer?

[barfle]

Worked twice for me, and now I have the file saved.

[piqaboo]

Nope, Selma, you're just upside down.

[jamiebk]

Selma....as we head into Summer, the Aussies head into Winter. The seasons are opposite (reversed)...so, it's time for football (rugby) and winter foods...

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

Connecticut's moved to Australia? OK! <whew> That clears it all up.

[jamiebk]

Selma....as we head into Summer, the Aussies head into Winter. The seasons are opposite (reversed)...so, it's time for football (rugby) and winter foods...IN AUSTRALIA.....

[piqaboo]

Yup, Connecticut Australia. Cute little place. Lousy wine tho.

(tole ya, yer upside down)

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

Aussies make chili? Good to know. Almost makes up for the lousy wine.

Seriously, have found several good Aussie reds.

[jamiebk]

Selma, living in No. California (Sonoma Valley wine country) as I do, I have really come to respect the Aussie wines. The Shiraz (our Syrah) is particularly good. They also produce excellent cabernets, which are often blended with the Shiraz. Australia has an excellent growing climate for wine and they have "imported" many top winemakers to give them a jump start. They are, unfortunately guilty of dumping some el-cheapo wine here in the US which frankly, exacerbated the wine glut and price erosion of the US product...I think they call that "competition" and the consumer wins.

In any event, back as far as 2000, 600 Australian wines were reviewed in Wine Spectator's San Francisco office. Here's what they said:

"Shiraz weighed in with three of the top four new releases. The Penfolds South Australia Grange 1994 (96, $165) led the way, offering plenty of berry, pepper and anise nuances. Still in the classic range, Elderton Barossa Command 1995 (95, $60) and Henschke Keyneton Hill of Grace 1994 (95, $150) reinforce the dominance of Shiraz, while the Barossa Valley Estate Shiraz Barossa Valley E&E Black Pepper 1997 (94, $65) displayed its characteristic spice flavors, rating only slightly lower than the profound 1996 (97, $60), reviewed last fall.

That Australia's workhorse grape has come of age or at least commands the respect it deserves is proven by the fact that 10 of the top 15 wines are pure Shiraz or contain a significant proportion of it in their blend. Furthermore, several estates tasted for the first time made top-flight reds from Shiraz. Lake Breeze, Nurihannam, Parson's Flat, Henry's Drive, Pertaringa, Pirramimma, Kilikanoon, Killibinbin, Australian Domaine Wines, Larrikin and Lengs & Cooter represent a handful of new Shiraz producers to watch."

So...drink what you like and like what you drink. In vino veritas

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

I won't be drinking those wines, Jamie. I'm more in the Yellowtail Reserve market; I expect the wine to cost less than the meal it accompanies. And I cook the meal myself.

I'm easy to sell to; a cute name will do it once. Red Truck Red was a classic. (Actually bought more of the Red Truck. It makes killer sauerbraten.)

[jamiebk]

I know what you mean and I agree. One of my favorites is "Big Yellow Cab"...and yes, I drink a fair amount of Charles Shaw (aka "2 Buck Chuck"). Also a Cabernet Sauvignon that I make with another buddy under the label of "Old Chatham Ranch". Can't really afford too many of the top premiums.

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

2 Buck Chuck! I hear another Fearless Flyer customer there! Piq and OT also shop at Joe's.

[Schmeelkie]

Thanks for the link Jamie! Need to email that to a bunch of colleagues...I do work in the Psychiatry dept after all...

My husband and I really like Black Opal Shiraz - can usually get it for less than $12. Just making me drool with the wine talk...we're trying to be in baby production mode so I'm not drinking

New York's Finger Lakes region (just an hour from Rochester!) has some really great wines too. When I first started dating my husband - brought him home and my parents took us wine tasting. He's been hooked ever since - keeps a list of wines he's tried - which ones he liked best... Also tried some good wines in the northern part of Michigan's lower peninsula - a relatively newly growing wine area.