Say this fast: Red Lorry, Yellow Lorry.
You should finish up saying: Red Lolly, Yellow Lolly.
I work on a support desk carrying out server disaster recoveries. Right now, I am not kidding, I have had someone on the phone who said "we tried to forklift it" when I asked how it crashed.
We had just finished a huge huge project for a customer. The backup server was full so everytime a tape was put in for the daily backup, it actually overwrote the tape with gobbledegook. When the server crashed we went back to the tapes to use the backups, every tape was empty and full of nonsense. Shocking, 18 months work all gone ! Our company eventually told our customer that it was a virus, we worked days and nights, thankfully got lots of overtime and finally delivered it. Huge mess though.
I have deconstructed the keyboard, surgical style, in a fit of e-rage before. It was delicate and calculating. It was enjoyable at the time, but not when I needed my coursework for university.
Wayne Jordan, England.
I recently had the IT department up in arms, because I had tried to print off a rather long document. I had pressed print and nothing arrived on the printer, so I pressed print again and the summary I was expecting arrived. A few days later, the IT department got in touch to say I had jammed somebody else's printer because I had tried to get it to print off the full guidelines for Infertility from the Health Department website.
IT were not impressed when I tried to print off 4,444 pages of information! To cap it all, the person whose printer I had clogged up was on holiday and the problem only came to light when they tried to print their e-mails. Nowadays, I am very careful where I send my printing. All I wanted was the summary
Nicola Jennings, UK.
Back in the days of XT machines, I was training a group of middle executives how to use spreadsheets. It was only an exercise but some of them clearly were not saving their work, so I just suddenly pulled out the power plug they were all connected to. The air was blue for a bit, but I think they learned the most important lesson in computer use!
A friend of mine ran a clip art company, back in the days of 5.25 disks. There was a problem with one of the 5.25 disks that had been sent out to a client and he asked for a copy to be sent back so the problem could be resolved. When the parcel arrived, it contained two A4 pages of a nicely photocopied disk.
I heard this story many years ago. Someone in an office was asked to copy a 5.25 floppy disk. Months later, someone checked and found a photocopy where the copied disk should be. Also the photocopy was old-fashioned even then and had wiped the original floppy. I've also had a cat walk across my keyboard while I was taking a break. Luckily they just entered a few random letters.
I had my Toshiba laptop on the desk with internet cable hanging. My one-year toddler pulled on the cord and crashed the laptop on the floor. The shock discharged the battery. Fortunately, no files or data lost, no damage to the computer. I was so relieved. Now I am more careful when my son is around.
Deepak Darshan, India/Switzerland.
I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best