Fear Sells Better Than Sex - Just Ask GWB

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Fear Sells Better Than Sex - Just Ask GWB

Postby OperaTenor » Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:22 am

SO OSAMA WALKS INTO THIS BAR, SEE?


by Greg Palast
Monday August 14, 2006

So, Osama Walks into This Bar, See? and Bush says, "Whad'l'ya have, pardner?" and Osama says...

But wait a minute. I'd better shut my mouth. The sign here in the airport says, "Security is no joking matter." But if security's no joking matter, why does this guy dressed in a high-school marching band outfit tell me to dump my Frappuccino and take off my shoes? All I can say is, Thank the Lord the "shoe bomber" didn't carry Semtex in his underpants.

Today's a RED and ORANGE ALERT day. How odd. They just caught the British guys with the chemistry sets. But when these guys were about to blow up airliners, the USA was on YELLOW alert. That's a "lowered" threat notice.

According to the press office from the Department of Homeland Security, lowered-threat Yellow means that there were no special inspections of passengers or cargo. Isn't it nice of Mr. Bush to alert Osama when half our security forces are given the day off? Hmm. I asked an Israeli security expert why his nation doesn't use these pretty color codes.
He asked me if, when I woke up, I checked the day's terror color.
"I can't say I ever have. I mean, who would?"
He smiled. "The terrorists."

America is the only nation on the planet that kindly informs bombers, hijackers and berserkers the days on which they won't be monitored. You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to get a jump on George Bush's team.

There are three possible explanations for the Administration's publishing a good-day-for-bombing color guidebook.

1. God is on Osama's side.
2. George is on Osama's side.
3. Fear sells better than sex.

A gold star if you picked #3.


The Fear Factory

I'm going to tell you something which is straight-up heresy: America is not under attack by terrorists. There is no WAR on terror because, except for one day five years ago, al Qaeda has pretty much left us alone.

That's because Osama got what he wanted. There's no mystery about what Al Qaeda was after. Like everyone from the Girl Scouts to Bono, Osama put his wish on his web site. He had a single demand: "Crusaders out of the land of the two Holy Places." To translate: get US troops out of Saudi Arabia.

And George Bush gave it to him. On April 29, 2003, two days before landing on the aircraft carrier Lincoln, our self-described "War President" quietly put out a notice that he was withdrawing our troops from Saudi soil. In other words, our cowering cowboy gave in whimpering to Osama's demand.

The press took no note. They were all wiggie over Bush's waddling around the carrier deck in a disco-aged jump suit announcing, "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." But it wasn't America's mission that was accomplished, it was Osama's.

Am I saying there's no danger, no threat? Sure there is: 46 million Americans don't have health insurance. IBM is legally stealing from its employees' pension plan and United Airlines has dumped its pensions altogether. Four-million three-hundred thousand Americans were injured, made sick or killed by their jobs last year. TXU Corporation is right now building four monster-sized power plants in Texas that will burn skuzzy gunk called "lignite." The filth it will pour into the sky will snuff a heck of a lot more Americans than some goofy group of fanatics with bottles of hydrogen peroxide.

But Americans don't ask for real protection from what's killing us. The War on Terror is the Weapon of Mass Distraction. Instead of demanding health insurance, we have 59 million of our fellow citizens pooping in their pants with fear of Al Qaeda, waddling to the polls, crying, "Georgie save us!"

And what does he give us? In my own small town, the federal government has paid for loading an SUV with .50 caliber machine guns to watch for an Al Qaeda attack at the dock of the ferry that takes tourists to the Indian casino in Connecticut. The casino dock is my town's officially designated "Critical Asset and Vulnerability Infrastructure Point (CAVIP)." (To find the most vulnerable points to attack in the USA, Al Qaeda can download a list from the Department of Homeland Security -- no kidding.)

But that's not all. Bush is protecting us from English hijackers with a fearsome anti-terrorist tool: the Virginia-class submarine. The V-boat was originally meant to hunt Soviet subs. But there are no more Soviet subs. So, General Dynamics and Lockheed Martin have "refitted" these Cold War dinosaurs with new torpedoes redesigned to carry counter-terror commandoes. That's right: when we find Osama's beach house, we can shoot our boys right up under his picnic table and take him out. These Marines-in-a-tube injector boats cost $2.5 billion each -- and our President's ordered half a dozen new ones.

Lynn Cheney, the Veep's wife, still takes in compensation from Lockheed as a former board member. I'm sure that has nothing to do with this multi-billion dollar "anti-terror" contract.
Fear sells better than sex. Fear is the sales pitch for many lucrative products: from billion-dollar sailor injectors to one very lucrative war in Mesopotamia (a third of a trillion dollars doled out, no audits, no questions asked).

Better than toothpaste that makes our teeth whiter than white, this stuff will make us safer than safe. It's political junk food, the cheap filling in the flashy tube. What we don't get is safety from the real dangers: a life-threatening health-care system, lung-murdering pollution production and a trade deficit with China that's reducing mid-America to coolie status.

Protecting us from these true threats would take a slice of the profits of the Lockheeds, the Exxons and the rest of the owning class.

War on Terror is class war by other means -- to keep you from asking for real protection from true menace, the landlords of our nation give you fake protection from manufactured dangers. And they remind you to be afraid every time you fly to see Aunt Millie and have to give up your hemorrhoid ointment to the underpaid guy in the bell-hop suit with a security badge.

Oh, hey, you never got the punch line.

So, Osama Walks into This Bar, See? and Bush says, "Whad'l'ya have, pardner?" and Osama says, "Well, George, what are you serving today?" and Bush says, "Fear," and Osama shouts, "Fear for everybody!" and George pours it on for the crowd. Then the presidential bartender says, "Hey, who's buying?" and Osama points a thumb at the crowd sucking down their brew. "They are," he says. And the two of them share a quiet laugh.
*****
"To help mend the world is true religion."
- William Penn

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Postby Shapley » Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:17 am

OT,

Israel's colour-code would only fluctuate mildly between bright-red and dull-red since somewhere around 1948.

Also, I don't get it. Who, exactly, is offering the sex? Osama/ Bush's opponents? Did he just include sex in the headline to entice people to read his drivel?

V/R
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Postby Shapley » Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:05 am

Also, Regarding this:
And George Bush gave it to him. On April 29, 2003, two days before landing on the aircraft carrier Lincoln, our self-described "War President" quietly put out a notice that he was withdrawing our troops from Saudi soil. In other words, our cowering cowboy gave in whimpering to Osama's demand.


The troops were placed in Saudi Arabia to protect them from an invasion by Saddam Hussein. Saddam Hussein was out of power, so there was no further need to protect Saudi Arabia from him. Furthermore, there were only Air Force personnel there, using the base as a staging area to fly over the no-fly zone. No Saddam, no no-fly-zone. The troops were superfluous. Is the author (and yourself, since you posted the link and have brought this up before) suggesting that we should maintain unneeded troops in a country that doesn't want them there just so we can p**s Osama bin Laden off? Is doing the sensible thing 'caving in' to his demands just because they happen to follow the same course?

As I said, I don't get the joke.

V/R
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Postby OperaTenor » Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:00 am

It's playing off the line, "Sex sells".
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Postby bignaf » Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:41 am

I think he's dead-on with his criticism of the implementation of the homeland secutiry in America. he doesn't elaborate enough (he's not a good writer, objectively, the article is unfocused, even where he wants it to be focused), but the point of America reacting to the past threats, and the information they pointlessly give away to the terrorists are accurate.

his reasoning that this might be done for political reasons, might be valid.
however his pampered American underestimation of the continuing hate of many muslims, is dangerous and myopic.
his laying every single blame at JWB's door, is symptomatic of many liberals and lazy people.
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Postby piqaboo » Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:05 am

Its funny, it makes a point or two, but its satire - over the top to make a point. Not intended as a literal prescription. Like GBS's irish babies and the irish famine. GBS really thought something needed to be done. He mocked the do-nothing british by his outrage proposal.

Fear does sell. Thats why all the manufacturers have to spend the money to have "Not A Toy" printed on their plastic bag packaging.
[quote[The filth it will pour into the sky will snuff a heck of a lot more Americans than some goofy group of fanatics with bottles of hydrogen peroxide[/quote] Possibly, but it will do it slowly and quietly and no one will vote based on that.

By definition a politician's first concern has to be getting elected.
(shame we cant put all eligible person's names in a pool and randomly assign one to each office instead).

We do sadly focus on the closed barn door. The airplane attack on the WTC was inventive & low tech. What comes next will probably be entirely different, and equally creative, and probably also low tech. High tech is harder to smuggle.

And the terror alert thing is .... silly. At a local level it perhaps makes sense.
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Postby BigJon@Work » Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:20 am

The Left should know how well fear sells. They've just been selling a different set.
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Postby piqaboo » Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:06 pm

Everyone in politics knows how well fear sells. So do most successful marketing and sales people.

Thats why we have such a strong market for stuff to control that deadly condition: Dandruff. :roll:

The fear I'd like to sell to more people is the fear of losing freedom irreplaceably, in a trade for the illusion of security.
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Postby Shapley » Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:27 pm

The fear I'd like to sell to more people is the fear of losing freedom irreplaceably, in a trade for the illusion of security.


Or the illusion of stopping climate change... :D
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Postby bignaf » Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:01 pm

I worte what I worte knowing it is satire. he really believes the threat is less than the government thinks it is. which is completely wrong. and his assertion about lack of terrorist attacks is also wrong. some have been stopped, some have been classed as hate crimes (Seattle).
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Postby piqaboo » Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:15 pm

True - he makes the false assumption that no event = no risk.

An assumption shared by many 2 year-olds trying to climb into shopping carts.
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Postby OperaTenor » Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:23 pm

Shapley wrote:
The fear I'd like to sell to more people is the fear of losing freedom irreplaceably, in a trade for the illusion of security.


Or the illusion of stopping climate change... :D


No one's trying to stop climate change, just the human influence on the otherwise naturla process.

Twist and wiggle.
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Postby Shapley » Thu Aug 17, 2006 2:01 pm

OT,

Not true. The goal is to stop the influence of man on the climate in order to stop the change in climate which is viewed as being man-made. What's the point in changing the supposed cause if not to change the supposed result.

V/R
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Postby bignaf » Thu Aug 17, 2006 2:35 pm

there should no question that global-warming proponents use fear as their main weapon in their (our) campaign.
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Postby OperaTenor » Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:40 pm

Shap, show me one iota of scientific research or a scientist who avers that we can stop global warming in its entirety.

.
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Postby BigJon@Work » Thu Aug 17, 2006 3:50 pm

Um, why would they need to when it will turn around by itself, just as it always has?
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Postby Shapley » Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:12 pm

OT,

Calm down, go have a beer. I did not propose that we would stop climate change in its entirety. And I did include the smiley thingy. You're clearly taking this wayyyyy too seriously. You need to relax a little. Take Altoid out of the cage and take her to the park. :)

Sheesh!

V/R
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Postby OperaTenor » Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:40 pm

Shapley wrote:OT,

Not true. The goal is to stop the influence of man on the climate in order to stop the change in climate which is viewed as being man-made. What's the point in changing the supposed cause if not to change the supposed result.

V/R
Shapley


No smilie here.

Funny, when I ask you to support your generalization, you backpedal. There is not one scientific entity around who is proposing we can turn around global warming on our own efforts. There are a lot, however, who theorize human influence is increasing the severity of the trend this time around, and propose steps should be taken to lessen the influence, and therefore lessen the severity.

Apples and oranges.

As for taking it seriously, we're talking about my child's future on this planet, and I happen to take that VERY seriously.

You may cut and run from the discussion anytime you wish.
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Postby Shapley » Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:55 pm

Cut and Run? Not me!

Look at my post again.
in order to stop the change in climate which is viewed as being man-made.
That does not say 'stop global warming in its entirety' or anything like it. If man is causing 2% of global warming, then stopping the change in climate which is viewed as man-made means stopping 2% of global warming.

The future of this planet belongs to my children as much as to anyone elses. I have a much greater fear of terrorists than I do of global warming, but you seem to favour a pre-emptive strike on climate change based on specious evidence while oppose (ex-post facto) a similar strike on terror based on evidence that is no more questionable that that which Al Gore uses. Do you believe that lives will not be disrupted if we adopt Al Gore's proposals? Do you believe Mideast turmoil will end when they suddenly find the value of their sole export (besides terror, that is) reduced markedly due to decreased demand? Do you really think it is worth the financial and social risk to enact these measures if, as you now say, they will not stop global warming? What, then, is their purpose?

V/R
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Postby OperaTenor » Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:11 pm

What's the downside? How many innocent people will die for doing it, as opposed to the Iraq invasion, which is a national security clusterf#@%?

Besides money, because that's such a wacked out variable there's no telling if it will be a net savings or cost in the long run.
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