Animal puns....and other tuns of fun!

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Postby Catmando » Fri Sep 01, 2006 12:39 pm

What happens when the Cuban Overture is overplayed?

It pisces Catmando off!
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Postby piqaboo » Fri Sep 01, 2006 12:40 pm

OOOh. Ouch. Clever.....

Are you anglering for a compliment?
Altoid - curiously strong.
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Postby Catmando » Fri Sep 01, 2006 12:41 pm

Why is George Bush sending more troups into the ocean?

Looking for Weapons of Bass Destruction.
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Postby Catmando » Fri Sep 01, 2006 12:46 pm

What is considered the best piano rag?

A swiffer. :rolleyes:
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Postby piqaboo » Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:09 pm

Eel get you for this, my pretty! :witch:
Altoid - curiously strong.
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Postby Serenity » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:03 pm

Energizer Bunny arrested!

(Charged with battery)

:)
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Postby Serenity » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:08 pm

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way. :sing:
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Postby Catmando » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:12 pm

Serenity wrote:I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way. :sing:


Speaking of which, I got a professional massage today from my girlfriend. :) Lucky me!

She graduated from massage therapy in June.
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Postby Serenity » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:14 pm

Well, a man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
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Postby Serenity » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:21 pm

Yep, marriage is the mourning after the knot before. :rolleyes:
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Postby Catmando » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:24 pm

Serenity wrote:Well, a man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.


:?:
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Postby Serenity » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:37 pm

Kids say it best:

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

"It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them."
Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

"If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of pretty clothes, especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds on it."
Lori, age 8

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck."
Ricky, age 10

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming."
Alan, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

"Both don't want no more kids."
Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough."
Lynnette, age 8

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
Martine, age 10
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Postby Serenity » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:44 pm

Catmando wrote:
Serenity wrote:Well, a man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.


:?:


monogamy substituted for monotony
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Postby Catmando » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:47 pm

Serenity wrote:
Catmando wrote:
Serenity wrote:Well, a man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.


:?:


monogamy substituted for monotony


Oh! :dunce:
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Postby Serenity » Wed Sep 06, 2006 11:56 pm

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree!
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Postby Catmando » Thu Feb 15, 2007 12:51 pm

Going thru 'pun withdrawal'. :flex:
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Postby Serenity » Thu Feb 15, 2007 2:12 pm

Police were called to daycare earlier today where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.
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Postby Serenity » Thu Feb 15, 2007 2:14 pm

Sign on the lawn of a drug rehab center:

"Keep off the grass!"

:rofl:
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Postby Serenity » Thu Feb 15, 2007 2:16 pm

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you

"A-flat miner"!

:lol:
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Postby Serenity » Thu Feb 15, 2007 2:19 pm

A hole was found in the nudist colony camp wall..............

The police are looking into it! :lol:
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