Just for Fun - U.S. Civics Quiz

[Shapley]

I have to admit I almost forgot President Ford, even though I have a picture of him hanging in my office (It's a picture of the four then-living Republican Presidents - Nixon, Ford, Reagan, and Bush I). I was remembering that Carter had one because of Watergate - and Nixon was the President during Watergate - so I put Carter after Nixon. Of course, I knew President Ford belonged in the group, so when I got to Kennedy, I realized something was amiss, and went back and corrected the error.

[BigJon]

Now if I could just persuade 'em . . .

Fat chance. You may have noticed that a number of us have fairly firm opinions on things? Of course, in my case, the opinions have been carefully considered and so, barring new information, your chances resemble that tissue paper dog following the proverbial well-paved path.

Ah, I'm not aiming at old farts, like yourself.

[audiogirl]

I got 46.5, which awards me a silver star and encouragement to improve. I got the presidents, which I had better had since I lived during the terms of all of them except FDR and Harry T. I'm sure I've got an "I Like Ike" button somewhere...

I'm way shaky on the cabinet. I seem to understand the branches. And who cares which dude signed the DofI last, anyway?

Barfle, maybe you should pass the "older than dirt" title to Selma.

[barfle]

I got 46.5, which awards me a silver star and encouragement to improve. I got the presidents, which I had better had since I lived during the terms of all of them except FDR and Harry T. I'm sure I've got an "I Like Ike" button somewhere...

I'm way shaky on the cabinet. I seem to understand the branches. And who cares which dude signed the DofI last, anyway?

Barfle, maybe you should pass the "older than dirt" title to Selma.

While I don't remember much about the Truman administration, I do remember Ike being elected, so clearly I was alive during a time when Selma was not.

Try the new, improved dirt.

[Selma in Sandy Eggo]

I am, for the record, not older than dirt. I'm pretty sure it was here before I arrived. I think Shos is a pre-boomer, Bones and barfle and Haggis are among the few boomers senior to me, and they arrived after dirt, too.

I do recall working with one old guy who referred to Times Before as "Back when God was a corporal". That may have been when dirt was new..

[barfle]

Bones and barfle and Haggis are among the few boomers senior to me, and they arrived after dirt, too.

I do recall working with one old guy who referred to Times Before as "Back when God was a corporal". That may have been when dirt was new..

Dirt was my senior project in college.

But that's what I say about my dad, too.

[shostakovich]

I am, for the record, not older than dirt. I'm pretty sure it was here before I arrived. I think Shos is a pre-boomer, Bones and barfle and Haggis are among the few boomers senior to me, and they arrived after dirt, too.

I do recall working with one old guy who referred to Times Before as "Back when God was a corporal". That may have been when dirt was new..

I arrived some time after the earth cooled and dirt formed. I was born during Roosevelt's first administration. I was old enough to remember "Dewey defeats Truman" when it first came out. That's why I'm only cautiously optimistic that Lord Bush's reign might hit a bump. I believe I'm the most ancient of present BBB-ers, and Dai Bread is next. I'm not sure if anybody else has reached 60 yet, but a few are pushing it if not pulling it. Confessions anyone?
The Oldtimer

[analog]

Confessions anyone?

Well I was born summer of '46 but memory starts a few years later. One of my first is of us rugrats playing in the neighbor's yard when a B-36 flew over at about 500 feet , the shriek of the jet engines terrified us toddlers and we all ran for cover.

So I'm newer than dirt but older than silicon electronics.

And I too bombed the quiz, 39.5 . Never was much for names - i thought Paul Volker was the new fed guy. But I do remember every presidential election after Truman's.

a.

[OperaTenor]

Jenn, they're messin' with ya.

Barfle, Selma, and Haggis are all the same age, which, taken cumulatively, takes us all the way back to the Big Bang.

[audiogirl]

Well, maybe they can answer the question as to how the earth really was created.

As long as we're sharing personal information, analog, I'm in the
Arkansas Ozarks, too. I grew up on (and sometimes in) in the White River.

[piqaboo]

Sewing, sewing, sewing...
sealing seams, sealing seams, sealing seams.
fixing hoods, fixing hoods, fixing hoods,
adding gloves, adding gloves,
where are the boots? find the boots....
faster, work faster.....


Activity levels are high at Piqaboo's FRS-repair shop...

[barfle]

Jenn, they're messin' with ya.

Barfle, Selma, and Haggis are all the same age, which, taken cumulatively, takes us all the way back to the Big Bang.

I get to be sixty next year, which makes me the senior member of the DCBBB, and a bit older than Haggis, if I dare extrapolate any data from his date of enlistment.

[Serenity]

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you've got a heart murmur and be careful."

[Serenity]

An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.
"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal onversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
"Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?".
No response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"
"For the fifth time, CHICKEN!"

[Serenity]

After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches. One evening he decided to go down and see how things were holding up. Much to his surprise, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a group of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."
The old farmer replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came down to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and skill.

[Serenity]

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts one foot in a pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells out, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure and then replies, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

[Serenity]

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.

They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them
that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen" he replies.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it."
He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd
better write it down!" she retorts.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?

[Serenity]

Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"

Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

[Serenity]

A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's
perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

[Serenity]

Senior personal ads seen in Florida newspapers ...

* Foxy Lady: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

* Long-term Commitment: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

* Serenity Now: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

* Winning Smile: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

* Beatles or Stones? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

* Memories: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

* Mint Condition: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.